I come from a society that judges the appearance of women a lot. A society that celebrates slim figures by associating them with health, while voluptuousness is synonymous with sensuality or obesity — depending on the eyes that see it. While men are judged by whether they are tall or not, strong or not, if they look good with a beard or not... Women are looked at by the size of our butt, our breasts, our bellies, arms, the length of the hair, the double chin... well, there is not a part of our body that is not tied to some criticism.
But what happens when those same criticisms are made by that little voice that you have in your head?
One day you woke up and noticed that you had cellulite on your thighs, or that your belly is a little bigger or you made the very serious mistake of weighing yourself after spending several weeks drinking caramel coffee with two mini croissants: true story. And of course, when you saw that number, the world came over you. You look in the mirror and you don't like what you see. The wide thighs, the big hips, the huge butt. We crush ourselves so much, we compare ourselves so much with others without thinking that our body is a container that we can keep healthy without the need to follow a number on a scale.
What is the need to compare me to fulana or mengana when fulana or mengana is a different person than me?
Be careful, I'm not saying that you don't have to eat well: No. Eat your vegetables, fruits, leave those sweets and fats for special moments, do exercise, drink water. If despite doing all that, your body is still bigger, your thighs are wide, your butt is huge, but your levels of bad fat are low, your sugar levels and blood pressure or other medical aspects are under control, then love yourself as you are. Or, at least, try to love yourself as you are — that’s what I try to tell myself.
So far I have focused a lot on health and body-shaming. Because we don't know how to appreciate our beauty and therefore it is difficult for us to see beauty in other women. We are so attentive to our “flaws” that we forget our “strengths.” Until when will we stop beating ourselves up for having enjoyed an ice cream or a hamburger? What is the need to compare me to fulana or mengana when fulana or mengana is a different person than me?
Personally, it never mattered too much to me how big my body was, until I started comparing myself to others and worse still, to my past self. The downside of all this is that no matter how thin or fat we feel, we always look for a way to hurt ourselves: “I have very big thighs, very skinny legs, I am too thin, I am too big, I cannot wear this skirt, I have a 'square' body, I'm flat, I don't have a slim waist…” Do some of those phrases sound familiar to you? How about if today, after reading this, you try to look in the mirror and see the things you do like about yourself?
Maybe it's the perfect size of your breasts allowing your back not to hurt or the strong legs that you walk with every morning. Have you ever admired how bright your eyes are when you are happy or how comfortable you are even if you are sitting on the floor? I know that it is not easy to see how beautiful and pleasant our body is when our surroundings tell us otherwise, but I invite you to try to see yourself with new eyes today.
And if that mirror doesn't work, change the mirror.
