My heart is broken. My country doesn’t love me, doesn’t take care of me, doesn’t respect me. And this is the most intense pain I've felt in a long time.
The new Penal Code, already approved by the Cámara de Diputados, takes away my rights as a citizen and discriminates against me. It discriminates against me because I am bisexual, because I am a woman and because I am Black. My country doesn't love me just because I exist.
I can't help but remember all the times I was discriminated against because of my hair, my skin color, the way I dress, who I like... Situations that I thought I had overcome now come to the surface and I feel the trauma all over again.
I've been kicked out of restaurants for holding hands with a girl. Walking down the street they have lifted the skirt of my dress while they tell me that they are going to “quitarme la pajarería” or force me not to be gay. The police have detained me and threatened me because they saw me saying goodbye to a girl with a kiss, inside her car, in front of my house. And many, many, many times I have been treated as a second-class citizen. I have been denied entry to places for having curly hair. They have looked down on my work for being a woman and I have had to prove over and over again my worth and all that I contribute. And honestly, I'm tired.
I always understood these moments as personal acts of bullish and retrograde people, and now this Penal Code is giving them permission to continue. This Penal Code is telling them that there will be no consequences, that they can treat me however they want, that they can discriminate against me, and that the law will protect them as long as they say that these atrocities are done out of “religious, ethical, moral or institutional requirements.”
The desire is to affect a specific group, that is why the protection against discrimination based on sexual preference or orientation was eliminated, that is why women are penalized for having an abortion, in addition to other articles (article 97 and article 118) that speak about degrading and cruel treatment. But this goes beyond being a problem only for one group to a problem for the entire population because claiming institutional requirements can deny you work, to buy in shops, health services, housing... deny you having a dignified life. It doesn't matter who you are. And let alone what the part of "religious, ethical and moral conscience “entails in a country where religion rules and love or respect towards others comes with requirements.”
But those who are most affected are people who are already suffering, those who already have it difficult.
I am a very privileged woman. I’ve had the tools to face the situations that have happened to me, I have a circle of support that always lifts me up —especially when I cannot get up alone— but it is not the same reality for everyone. And it hurts me, it hurts me so much to understand that this country doesn’t want me to live with dignity, without humiliation. The least a human being deserves.
I have very few expectations of this country and its leaders, but somehow they always manage to disappoint and make their citizens more and more vulnerable. I know that the sentiment is shared and we have to keep protesting to stop the Penal Code before it completes its journey to becoming law. But today my heart is in pieces, and putting each piece together again is an otherworldly effort.
